Upon becoming a mother, Kayla Huszar aspired to nurture children who could freely express their emotions, think independently, and cultivate a strong self-identity.
Residing in Alberta, Huszar shared with The Current’s host Matt Galloway her desire to raise emotionally aware and regulated children.
Despite not experiencing the severe upbringing of some peers in strict environments, she felt the influence of an “old-school” approach characterized by obedience and authoritarian values commonly associated with the baby boomer generation.
In her quest for a more compassionate and emotionally connected parenting style, Huszar adopted “gentle parenting,” a contemporary child-rearing philosophy centered on empathy, emotional validation, and modeling calm, respectful communication.
However, the practical application of this approach did not unfold as expected for Huszar.
In a recent essay titled My Misadventures in Gentle Parenting: No timeouts, no limits, total chaos, she recounted how the seemingly promising method left her feeling drained, overwhelmed, and uncertain in her parental role.
A study published in the journal PLOS ONE in 2024 revealed that one-third of parents identifying with gentle parenting reported experiencing burnout and uncertainty in their parenting journey.
Understanding Gentle Parenting
From helicopter to free-range, various parenting styles exist, but in recent times, gentle parenting has gained popularity among Millennial and Gen Z parents.
This approach has gained significant traction online, with individuals sharing their experiences through blogs, videos, and social media posts. The hashtag #gentleparenting on Instagram has accumulated over 1.2 million posts, while on TikTok, it has gathered more than 270,000 videos.
However, Huszar found that the information she gathered online did not adequately prepare her for the unpredictable realities of raising young children.
Huszar expressed, “A lot of it felt very scripted. The prescribed steps were expected to resolve or prevent meltdowns or behavioral challenges.”
For instance, she cited a scenario where following a tantrum over cup color choice, the recommended response would involve acknowledging the child’s feelings. However, Huszar found that this emotional validation often fell short in real-life situations, especially when behaviors escalated beyond expectations.
Dr. Ashley Miller, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of British Columbia and a child and adolescent psychiatrist, frequently encounters stories akin to Huszar’s experiences.
According to Miller, many well-intentioned parents are drawn to gentle parenting but struggle with its practical application, often feeling perplexed and overwhelmed.
She emphasized that gentle parenting should not be misconstrued as permissiveness but rather as an approach that involves setting clear boundaries with empathy and explanation, devoid of punitive measures.
